Balance, Meaning and Living Well

The more I pursue my passions and my life's ambitions, the harder it becomes to live an equal and balanced life. We try to do what we love, but when we are always doing what we love, is that a selfish thing to do? Is it right to ignore the needs of people around us and completely engross ourselves in our own passions and our own wants and goals? It seems there is a fuzzy line between being ultimately happy for ourselves and being negligent to the needs of others in our life.


Lets face it, nobody can survive being alone in this world, that just goes against the principle designs of our social structure. Humans thrive on each other and our individual contributions towards the well being of our society. But it seems so many people are unhappy serving a role in life which benefits others and not themselves. On the opposite end of the spectrum, someone who completely envelops their life on becoming ultimately and purely happy for themselves is acting in a way that could be harmful to the people around them. Even if I were to claim that I don't need others in my life, and don't love anyone aside from myself (this clearly isn't the case) there would still be others who depend on me in some way or another, and who are affected by my actions on a regular basis. I'm talking about family, close friends, and anyone else who has been affected by me living my life the way I do. So is it right to go ahead and neglect the needs and wants of those people and live life solely for myself? I think not.

What I am starting to realize the more I push myself to the limit of my comprehensible level of existence, happiness and peace, is that I often push others out of my life to focus completely on my own ambitions. This is an unhealthy thing. People need to dream of course, but it is hard to actualize those dreams without the love and support of others. If I die tomorrow "doing what I love" I would die a peaceful and idealistic death, one in which I would probably be very happy with. However, the people who loved me and depended on me, who I left behind, would have to deal with the unresponsible reprecussions of my actions.

What I need to do is find a balance between doing what I love, and being with the people who I love. In this way I can live my life in an unselfish way that reflects a combination of my passions as well as the passions of others. I do what I do because it makes me happy, but I would love for others to be happy with what I do as well. It is a tricky place to be in, and an extremely complicated way of living my life, but in order to further grow and to reach further peace in my life, I have to earn the love of others, and surround myself in it.

The 5th great 14er traverse

14 connoisseur Gerry Roach, author of the most popular colorado 14er guidebook, claims that there are 4 "great 14er traverses" including: Crestone Peak to Crestone Needle, El Diente to Mt. Wilson, South Maroon to North Maroon, and Little Bear to Blanca. While I've only done 2 of these, its about time to add another traverse to the list.


Friday evening, in a stroke of both boredom and genius, I packed a bunch of stuff into my car and drove up to Aspen, CO to try to climb a few 14ers this weekend. The initial plan was to solo Pyramid, and then hike into Capitol lake and solo Capitol the following day. It was a certainly feasible, but clearly reckless and dangerous. Phase 1 was nearly complete as I reached the summit of Pyramid Peak in just a couple hours from the trailhead (I was flying). At the summit, I ran into my friend Scot, with whom I had climbed Kit Carson, Challenger and Culebra with a few months ago. We hadn't planned anything at all, but by a stroke of luck we ran into each other. As a spur of the moment thing, we decided to do the rarely traveled traverse from Pyramid peak to Thunder Pyramid, a class 5 scree-fest filled with loose rock, huge drops, and loads of satisfaction.


The traverse only took a few hours, pretty average based on the difficulty of the terrian, and we were off the summit of Thunder Pyramid before noon. I'd say that it was definitely more difficult than any of the other traverses I've done, but it was incredibly fun, and definitely a classic that should be added to the list of any serious peak-bagger. The trail off of Thunder was rather unappealing though, as it was just a slippery walk down thousands of feet of loose rock and talus. Because of this, the descent ended up taking just over 4 hours, which left us worn out but elated as we reached the cars. We had just done a traverse that most people spend months preparing for, and we had done it on a whim. The weather worked out marvelously for us, and there were no accidents with the loose rock, so we lucked out, but we also showed how well the human mind and body can perform under extemporaneous conditions and pressures. I'm excited for the successful trip and am happy that I got to spend the last weekend of my summer doing something worthwhile.

Now its time to think more about the concept of time, because I am going to be needing a lot more of it once classes start tomorrow.

Tranquil Flight

White whisps of water molecules fly by my head as I track into an infinite bliss. I see the shadow of my freefalling body below, on the cloudy sea. Faster and faster I fall, but this is no bad dream, but a good dream, the ultimate dream, turned to reality. Actualization of my aspirations to become something more; my world has come true as I step out the door of that turbo-prop heap of flying metal into the sky. And as I lean forward, arms tensed, legs straight, speeding faster and faster and faster, it is not I who is moving, but the world. The entire earth is speeding towards something better and I am guiding it there, with my wings of skin I curve, create lift, carve through the edge of the cloud, following the side of soaking disaster like a steep chalky cliff created at that moment by the great one. Relaxed and alive I fly through the air at 100 miles an hour and nobody knows and I like it that way. The clouds fall faster and faster and soon comes the ground, and I fly back home to the grassy meadow, all the while wishing I could call my home "the sky".

Man on Wire

I had the pleasure of seeing this movie last week and it was fantastic. Phillipe Petit is one of my biggest heros, and this just solidified my affection for almost legal highlining endeavors. I recommend this movie to anyone looking for inspiration to challenge themselves, Phillipe's philosophy on life is one we can all appreciate.

Info about the movie can be viewed here:

Designer Genes

What are the genes in the body that control the level of fear that someone has in a situation? Why am I not privileged to have these genes? It seems that everything I do scares others to a degree that I can't understand? Its just walking a slackline, or its just jumping out of an airplane... is it really that bad? Perhaps I'm missing some key infrastructure in my cognitive brain soup that should make me scared when I'm about to walk a highline or skydive. Or maybe its just a family thing. It probably is, and here's my proof.


This weekend I rigged the Golden Spire highline again, mainly for my sister Laura to try out a second time. Last time she had difficulty standing up, so I devised a plan to remedy that. Paul came along for the fun too, and was hiding lots of tricks in those short sleeves of his. It turned out that they both had it in them to try really hard, but they didn't really seem too stoked on it, just wanted to hang out. I was mistaken though, Paul stepped up to the line, and after hanging out on it for a few minutes, gave it a go. The thing about highlines is that the hardest part is standing up. Once you are standing, you're in an extremely familiar position so it flows naturally and comfortably.


Paul and Laura did great, and both walked it on virtually their first tries! Laura became the only woman (as far as I am aware of) to walk a highline in Colorado, or at least the youngest. I'm really proud to have two awesome slackliners in my family.

Forecast: Rain

This weekend during one of my skydives, a storm managed to develop over the landing area as we were flying up to altitude. We only made it to 9,000 feet AGL which was kind of annoying because the freefall time wasn't as long. However, it turned out to be better rather than worse as it was rain/snowing as we jumped out of the plane. In fact, we jumped out of the plane in the middle of a raincloud. Rain doesn't hurt too much as it hits the ground, but when you're falling through it at more than a hundred miles per hour, it hurts really bad. Imagine getting shot with a drop of water at 200 feet per second. Not fast enough to penetrate the skin, but enough to sting. Then imagine getting shot thousands of times before you are able to open your canopy. It was like that. The whole jump was a fiasco though, only three of us fun jumpers actually made it down to the landing area because of the terrible spot through the cloud and the high winds. People landed all over the place, even several miles north of the drop zone itself. I hope I never jump in the rain again, or at least if I do I hope I'm not wearing just shorts and a t-shirt. Its weird how the little things will surprise you when you least expect them. It was a fun weekend of jumping, regardless.

Time

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times".

Dickens said it best, but I've been thinking about time a lot lately, and frankly, I've started to lose faith in it. I think people rely on time too much and too often. I always hear people say "Dude that was such a good time" or "It's about time". We tie everything we do to this concept of regular motion, angular momentum, and perpetual rotation. Being late or early can define someone's social characteristics or reputation, and time can go quickly or miserably slow depending on your mood. Stop, take a step back, and look at what time really is. Time ties us to what is false, to what is unforgiving, to what is stagnant, to what is woefully human. It creates stress, loss, many bad and negative things, yet it also creates room for freedom and playful innocence.

I've always had a weird notion of time. Ever since I was a little guy, long before I started studying enlightenment and philosophy. I used to think of different situations that the world would be in if my idea of time was different. For example, it has always been a question of mine how the world would be if I had been born 10 years earlier. It all boils down to an idea of perception vs. reality. What is it exactly that governs the current state of affairs of the universe? We are born into this universe seeing it as we do, but is it because that is the way the universe is, or is it because that is what we perceive it to be? What I mean by this is: I have always questioned what year it would be now if I had been born 10 years earlier. To someone born in 1980, they would say, "of course it has to be 2008". But to me, I would say "it has to be 1998". The world would be completely different if I had been born 10 years earlier. The reason for this is that my perception of time would be changed, but not the duration of it. Had I been born in 1977 instead of 1987, the 21 years I have experienced would have been displaced by ten years, and the year would now be 1998 instead of 2008. The fact that I have only been conscious and aware for 21 years means that it would be impossible for it to be the year 2008 if I had been born in 1977. I started my current database of knowledge and memories right when I was born, not sooner and the fact that it is limited to 21 years means that I can only trust my own direct experiences. Another example: If I was born last year it would be, in my current state of consciousness, 2028. People don't seem to understand this when I explain it to them, but most of them miss my point, and I blame the concept of time for this.


My point is that time is irrelevant compared to experience. You can live 20 years and have the same amount of direct experience as someone who lives to be 100. Most people get caught up in this notion of time, and it actually holds them back. It saddens me to see someone so distraught with deadlines and appointments and all these things that are fabricated to hold society together, but actually do more harm than good. I like to think of life in terms of experience, joy, passion, ambition, love and whatever it is that holds these things together. It has nothing to do with time. Thats why when I'm in my most enlightened state, more often than not on a slackline, I have no perception of time.

See my reactions to time on a highline here.

Life isn't about how long you live, its about what you live for. I've accomplished more in the last year than I ever thought possible, but not once did I worry about that, just by keeping your mind on a goal that you are passionate about, you can transcend this idea of time and create a life that will excite and surprise you. I think the more we live for what we are passionate about, and the more that we love what we are doing, the less that time becomes an issue. In fact, it could even melt away into a nothingness that is resolved in pure enlightenment. Don't let time hold you back. Even if you think you don't have any left, you can still live your life to the fullest. Its never too late to start, because without time, you wont be late for anything.

Freefall Frenzy

I did a ton of jumps this weekend, which was a lot of fun. Skydiving is pure fun. It is very scary, but man is it incredible. I have been doing a lot of tracking dives to prepare myself for wingsuiting in the hopefully near future, and this weekend was full of some pretty amazing jumps.

For a couple of them, Simon wore a GPS unit on his hand in order to map out our trajectory across the sky. In tracking dives, the objective is to obtain as much horizontal distance as possible, mainly by flattening the body and creating a pseudo-airfoil with your shoulders, arms and legs. Looking at the map of the trajectories, we covered some serious ground! Approximately 1 to 1.5 miles was the distance traveled during our tracks, which is the equivalent of 60-90 miles per hour forward movement (as well as 110 mph downward).

Click Here to see the flight path. The straight line pointing southwest was our tracking vector, which we covered in a mere 58 seconds.

I had a great weekend, did some great jumps (including the sunset load highpull where we deployed our parachutes at 13,000 feet above the ground (18,000 above sea level) and flew all the way down, enjoying the setting sun. Also, my pack-jobs are becoming more consistent, and faster, which is definitely a positive thing. Its always nice jumping out of a plane knowing that your parachute will probably open correctly...

LA Times Segment on Santa Monica

So when I went out to Cali earlier this month, I landed in LAX. Ric and Maria (owners of slackline brothers) couldn't pick me up till the evening, and I landed at 2:45. I had a bunch of time to kill so I took the bus up to Santa Monica to check out the pier. I had heard of a high population of slackliners chilling at Muscle Beach up there too, so I decided I would go see if there were any lines up. I met up with a guy named Josh who was friends with Harlan, one of the slackers also flying in to walk the lost arrow spire. We set up a line and started walking. It wasn't long before we drew a modest crowd, and then a couple people started taking pictures of us. Turns out one of them was a reporter for the LA Times. He was doing a segment on Santa Monica beach, and put me up on the article. Enjoy:

LA Times Article

Down by the River, Up on the Ruff (roof)

The whiplash I got on saturday from that really hard opening has all but subsided. Fortunately I am feeling about %99, and it has been time for some fun!

Some friends had a line set up over boulder creek when I got home from work yesterday, and I joined them for some fun.


It was full of crazy tricks, rad flips, and lots of falling into the water.


At one point I did a transfer from the rope swing onto the slackline. Flawless!



In the evening we tried to do some night kiting, but the wind died right when I got there. Just my luck. So we decided to look at some stars instead.


It was a fun thursday night, one of the best all summer. Now I'm getting rested up for a weekend full of freefall!

Tasting the Clouds

Flapping fabric double backed creating wings between my arms and legs.
This is where I want to be.
Monoliths in the sky, made of vapor and smoke and magic.
This is where I want to fly.
Water droplets on my face, falling gently along my side.
This is where I want to soar.
What was a dream is now a certain future in my hands.
This is where I want to live.
Transformation of body, release of mind, freedom of soul.
This is where I want to stay.
Human flight, transcendence, peace.
This is why I live, and this is why I die.

I can't wait to taste the clouds again.

Full Moon, Tight Lines, and Zero Porosity: Tales of the Weekend Warrior

July 18th-20th, one of the best weekends yet, was absolutely full of adventure. A self proclaimed "weekend warrior" I was out to make the best of the 48 hours between thank God Friday and rest day monday. (I like to refer to going to work on Monday as my rest day, because I finally get to rest from all my "mild" adventures).

Friday night James, Steven, Kate and I took off from Boulder around 7:30 to go climb Mt. Audubon, a prominent 13er in the Indian Peaks Wilderness. Gunning for a full moon ascent, we got to the trailhead just after sundown, and were hiking as it became dark. The first mile was spent in the fading twilight of a hazy evening, but just as we reached treeline, the moon began to rise. Already it was worth it. In a relatively easy hike we made it to the summit (13,221 ft) at about midnight. My Saturday had already started. After some pictures and tea, we made our way back down to Boulder for some much needed sleep.


Saturday was spent jumping out of planes. I did 2 tracking jumps with Jeff, one where he couldn't keep up with me, and then another where I couldn't keep up with him. Then I did a solo tracking dive with a pretty crappy opening that torqued my back and gave me some unwanted whiplash. It doesn't feel like there's any permanent damage though.


Sunday we woke up early and rigged a highline in Golden, the 30 foot long "Golden Spire" line. Everyone who came out got on the line, and did a great job pushing their individual boundaries, which is what it is all about. Laura got out there and got comfortable with the exposure and the experience in general which is a lot to go through. She did great and I can't wait to take her highlining again (I think irrational lack of fear is mixed in our gene pool somehow).



Sore, satisfied, bruised and amused, I returned to Boulder for some welcome rest.


Its weekends like this one that remind us that we are capable of anything, but until we push ourselves to the limit, or beyond, we will never know what satisfaction really is.

Lost Arrow Spire Trip Report, by Libby Sauter

You can see a photo-trip report of the Spire trip at the following link:

http://forum.slackline.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=1115

Enjoy!

Momentary Zen, and the Bridge Between Space and Time

I've been having a difficult time coming up with words to describe this trip, but as a tourist from Spain explained when we were walking the line, "there are no words". Unfortunately I don't know how to put emotions onto a piece of paper, I just don't have the technology, so here is a meager attempt to explain the line that changed my life.


We all grow up with incredible ambition, imagination, creativity, and invulnerability. People grow older and these things wear off. But children are purely and innocently powerful in their abilities to fabricate and follow their dreams. "You can be anything when you grow up!" These words of encouragement dwindle out of the equation as life goes on. So many people give up on dreams, and the pure idea of actualizing those dreams is lost in a hectic world of pressures and status and outward appearances. It is time for people to let go. You can't live life tied to monetary significance or political affiliation or a stereotype of any kind. We are all one living, breathing creature, despite how different we look, we are all the same person.

Dreams are an odd thing. I've said this before and I'll surely say it again: Some people don't have dreams. Other people dream and think how fine their lives could be. They don't change anything. This sounds strange. The actualization of dreams is one of the most amazing things to do with your life. It can bring happiness, joy, enlightenment, and it radiates these things to others around you.


I've had dreams about the Lost Arrow Spire highline for several years now. Ever since I started highlining it has intrigued me. While most people settle for watching videos on youtube and living vicariously through others, they lose sight of their own dreams. Vicarious living is dangerous living as you gain a false sense of accomplishment. It is so easy to do things yourself, to pursue your passions and to live your own life to the fullest that it is sad to see so many let their dreams slip right out from under them. I hate how cliche this sounds, but just do what makes you happy! It will get you out of a comfort zone, and into a better place. Enough about that though, the Spire...

We rigged the Lost Arrow Spire highline in Yosemite last week (55 feet long, 2890 feet high) as well as the second line (110 feet long). You don't know what to expect getting on a highline that big after your highest span was previously 400 feet. The sheer exposure and lunacy of it all is somewhat inundating. It was hard to take in at first. The whole week was a long meditative journey though. I don't ever really meditate in the common sense of the word, but I do actively pursue a higher state of mind, or another level of cognitive existence. Being on a line that high off the ground, it is impossible to walk with a bunch of crap in your head. It has to be clear, free, void of concern or dread or thought of death. I was able to reach that higher state of mind, and everything became clear; time stood still and I was living in a stationary dimension different than all others I have existed in. The future became the present and the past, actually these words became obsolete as space, time, and nothingness conjoined into a beautiful present. It was very surreal and had an ominous "now" feeling to it. I was able to see myself standing on different parts of the line all at once, and could visualize myself in other "places" with lucid thought and clarity. Somehow being on the line, sometimes for minutes upon minutes at a time (as I learned later because I had absolutely no concept of time out there), I could understand my future, because I could see it in front of me. It wasn't 1 dimensional existence, but it was existence in a dimension that can't be understood by an everyday state of mind. It can't be expressed in words, but in emotions and thoughts, it was beautiful.


I hate looking at things in terms of numbers, but I walked the line 36 times and didn't come off it once. I only say this to provide argument for the amazing state of mind and balance of energy and emotion and love that took place out there, precariously perched on that 1 inch piece of man made nylon.


I learned from this trip that no matter what your prior circumstances are, the most important thing in life is to pursue what you are adamantly passionate about, regardless of what that is. Become so incredibly involved, emotionally, in what you do, and love others for what their passions are as well. Live every moment for that moment. I have seen the future and the past, and the present is the most important of the three.

Vacation

I'm headed for Yosemite tomorrow morning, flying out on Thursday and we'll be walking the Lost Arrow Spire highline by Sunday hopefully. I'm really excited. 2890 feet above the ground and a hell of a scare factor. I'll be back soon with some amazing pictures and some amazing memories.